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Over the past few days, the Ugandan internet has been busy with discussions and fiery debates on the intricacies of marriage practices in Ankole, with some divided opinions on whether such practices entail tribalism.
A resurfaced video of President Yoweri Museveni speaking about traditional Ankole marriage customs has fueled these debates on marriage practices in Uganda.
In the video, Museveni critiques the Western concept of "love at first sight", arguing that Ankole customs prioritise careful selection and family involvement in marriage.
He warns that blindly adopting European marriage ideals may not always be beneficial to African societies.
Ankole Marriage: A Slow and Thoughtful Process
Museveni explains that, from time immemorial, the Ankole people have approached marriage cautiously.
Unlike in the Western world, where people fall in love instantly, he says that Ankole marriages are carefully arranged through recommendations and investigations by family members.
“The Europeans have brought something dangerous to us. This is something called “love at first sight”...that you can be walking to the bus park and see a person passing by, and you start trembling and losing your heart and you are instantly in love with that person, and that is it!”
"We in Ankole have no such thing as ‘love at first sight.’ We don’t fall in love with people we see in the market. We move slowly," Museveni states.
According to the president, the process of finding a spouse involves families vetting potential partners to ensure they come from a respectable and well-behaved background.
"First, the people recommend a woman for you. They will tell you that so and so has a well-behaved daughter. Then your people carry out their own investigation to see if it is true. And then things move like that to the point of marriage," he explains.
This method, he argues, helps ensure compatibility and stability in marriage, rather than relying on fleeting emotions.
Museveni’s Critique of ‘Love at First Sight’
Museveni expresses concern that Africans are quickly abandoning their own traditions in favour of foreign customs they do not fully understand.
While Europeans have made great advancements—even reaching the moon—, Museveni says, they have also lost their way in some aspects of life, particularly in relationships.
He argues that falling in love impulsively without proper background checks can lead to unstable marriages.
Instead, he suggests that marriage should be approached logically, with input from family members who can help identify a suitable partner.
The Role of Parents in Guiding Marriage Decisions
Museveni believes that parents should play an active role in guiding their children through important life decisions, including marriage.
"My suggestion is that some European practices are good, but some others, we need to be careful. It is good for people to know each other, but also for the parents to get involved and to play a part," he advises.
He adds that if parents fail to guide their children, schools will not teach them about marriage, relationships, or life, as most of the education system focuses on academic subjects like frogs, lizards, and cockroaches.
"If I cannot advise my own child how to live in the world, and yet when he goes to school the teachers only teach him about frogs and lizards and cockroaches, who is going to teach him about the world?" Museveni questions.
Museveni’s remarks have sparked mixed reactions from Ugandans. While some agree that African traditions should be preserved, others argue that people should have the freedom to choose their partners based on personal feelings rather than family recommendations.