10 signs you should stop following your motivational speaker

What is real, true motivation anyway? Where do motivational speakers find their motivation?

To answer the first question, sometimes cliches are true. Real motivation comes from within the person looking for it. And the way to find it is simple: stop trying to manage yourself and just do what you know you need to do. What you do will fill you with more confidence to do more.

Other people's words are tools not laws

But that's just it. To answer the second question, motivational speakers get their motivation from creating laws and telling others what to do. There's no limit to the challenges of everyday life, and there's limited support to remind us of our inner strength to overcome them. That's the support motivational speakers give.

However, this support can easily turn sour. Unfortunately, this is a common thread in this sector.

Following motivational speakers is a personal choice and experience. It is why it is easy to place blame on oneself when results are not seen than shine a light on the motivational speaker.

Let's do just that.

Here are some attributes of motivational speakers, motivational sites, and inspirational quote entities you need to weed out of your life.

1. Emotion only

Speakers who use emotion to colour over real impact. They share ideas with conviction and appealing filters to excite their audience and make them feel good. This is ironic since the issues that bring people to them are usually unpleasant emotions, like low energy, laziness, procrastination. So they are covering up the issues with feel good techniques.

In this way they do not give solid ideas and practical solutions that last.

These convictions and filtered messages are usually influenced by personal and subjective experiences and their own emotions. They sound like:

2. 'Believe in yourself, and you can achieve anything'

Without knowledge of self, which self is being addressed? The one who is bad at saving? The one that loves junk? The one who struggles with addiction?

There are more people who don't believe in themselves than those who do, in fact most people harbour a host of insecurities. Instead of giving these insecurities up to your motivational speaker, use them to inspire action.

3. 'Mindset determines everything, you need to control it'

Statistics from a study in Canada show that a human being has over 6,000 thoughts a day, while the National Science Foundation in America found that they reach 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day.

Controlling the mind is a fool's task. The mind is never set, fleeting and a bad standard to base success on. If you weren't worried about controlling your mindset, what would you be doing?

4. 'Perseverance and determination is the key'

Reflect on your most satisfying relationship...was it built on grit and determination? Did you meet your spouse out of iron will, have you enjoyed a long standing friendship because of it? In fact, you want your personal relationships, especially the one with yourself to be easy.

There's a time for perseverance and determination, but these are not sustainable resources to drive results upon. You are tasked to become a different version of yourself before results can be seen. Ask yourself what could make this easier for you.

5. "If it’s going to be, it’s up to me to make it happen"

This isolating phenomena neglects the truth that value is only created in an environment that includes other people. Everything we use comes from the efforts of others in some way or form.

6. I overcame trauma, and you can, too

Overcoming obstacles is the nectar of all stories. However, "survivor bias" suggests that overcoming disease or trauma makes one a 'super hero' in turn sharing their hero's journey.

Survival might be a fortunate circumstance whose logic is not seen. Survivors don't have super powers of talent, skill or grit for getting past natural circumstances.

7. 'Have big goals if you want to get anywhere'

The saying goes, 'shoot for the stars and you just might land on the moon'. Problem is, there's no oxygen out there. Creating high expectations is like planning your own downfall. By failing to meet them, besides putting yourself under terrible pressure, you become unmotivated when you can't reach their ridiculous standards.

The only way to high performance is to start by doing the little, the small, the do-able.

Watch out for talk that makes you attach your identity and self-worth to your ability to achieve, to titles, numbers, education.

There's peace in saying "Come what may, I’m ok." and then trying out new things, find creative solutions.

8. Lack of time

A speaker is less likely to create impact by teaching and instilling vital skills if he or she does not have the time. There's no one or audience that can learn everything in a short period of time. A lack of follow-up or focus to create lasting results is a red flag. The speaker tasks you with self-reflection with inadequate information and tools.

9. Lack of understanding of your needs

Most speakers are either generalists or address a small niche. They lack the insider knowledge to address the specific problems and challenges that you face. Look out for a tailor-made speaker who addresses and offers real-world solutions to your needs and shows the desire to see them implemented.

10. Wasted time.

Trust your gut. If it starts to feel like you are not getting valuable information driving productivity, a bad speaker is worse than no speaker at all.

In the words of the American newsman, Edward R. Murrow: "Our greatest obligation is not to confuse slogans with solutions." So take time out to create your own motivation that will protect you from ineffective external influence. Your ability to think for yourself will never go away. So, what do you think you need to do now?