A surprising way to get anyone to like you

If you like someone, chances are you know something(s) about them and have amazing things to say about them to anyone who will listen. Except that, in true human form, with a few exceptions, we rarely tell the people we like or want to like us.

Everyone else will know except that person. This can be a blessing in disguise.

Positive backbiting

Charissa is an Engineer who lives in Rural Thailand.

When she was still in school, she failed to get along with her best friend's friend.

"I can’t put my finger on what annoyed me so much, but all I can say is it was really hard for me to be in a good mood when I was around her. One day, I complained about her to my best friend. I told her how much I dreaded Nicole coming around," she says.

It turns out Nicole was extremely fond of Charissa and had been telling her best friend as much.

"She said, “Really? Nicole really likes you. Whenever I mention you she talks about how fit, beautiful, and smart you are as an engineer. That shut me up immediately. And from that day forward, I had a lot more tolerance for Nicole. I actually kind of liked her, though I still didn’t want to be best friends with her. It’s hard to dislike someone who’s been saying wonderful things about you to everyone you know."

Turns out that talking behind someone's back in nice ways can get them to like you without you having to tell them. What goes around comes back around, after all.

How to make yourself like anyone

We tend to focus positive attention on the people we like and negative attention on those that rub us the wrong way. It is unsurprising then how hard it is to like someone once we have set our mind and emotions against them.

Perhaps, the nice aspects of the people we don't like can bring us some relief Pulse

Perhaps, talking about the nice aspects of the people we don't like can bring us some relief. Because the truth is, we are the victims of our own emotions.

It is not a guaranteed cure, but it can create more breathing space in our lives to not have so much dislike. The best part is that they don't have to know about your positive and kind thoughts toward them. You don't have to start making friends with them or hanging out.

Now, picture your worst enemy.

Think about the good things about them or even the funny things. He/she cannot be 100 percent bad. Humor usually gets the ball rolling faster. Start saying them out loud to yourself (and no one else).

Like taming the dragon, the negative emotions that rise whenever you see this person or think about them will start to calm. You will feel a little bit better over time and no one has to know.

This is not about forgiveness. You can still strongly disagree with someone and have strong boundaries with them. But you shouldn't endure sleepless nights and go into fits of rage over them.

In any case, if they bring out the worst in you, shouldn't they be worthless for your energy and time?