You can learn a lot about your partner's personality and how you can shower them with love on this day from their birth order.
Your partner's birth order can tell you so much about how to pamper them on Valentine's Day!
How to treat a firstborn Vs a lastborn partner on Valentine's Day
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Psychologist and author of The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are Kevin Leman, Ph.D, and Meri Wallace, a child and family therapist for over 20 years and author of Birth Order Blues, agree that each birth position presents a child with a unique personality.
The influence however lies in how parents relate with the child in the birth order and how siblings interact based on their positions. That being said, it is not set in stone. You can find a firstborn exhibiting traits of a lastborn and vice versa.
Here's how to treat each based on their position or traits. This is more for fun purposes, talk to your partner about consent and trust your knowledge of them.
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Firstborn partner
- Shower her/him with love and some space. You can give them a spa treatment while you do something else or make other plans.
- Tell them how much you appreciate their ambition. You can have a custom-made frame for their achievement(s) or a practical gift for their work or hobbies.
- Take them to do something wild or adventurous.
- Introduce some role play into your plans. Take control and put yourself in the dominant role. It can be hard for them to give up control or to use it in the bedroom for pleasure. It can help them relax and enjoy not being in charge.
- Handle the planning. If he/she plans a surprise, take care of other minimal details in the aftermath.
Firstborns can be raised with a mixture of trial and error and instinct from parents. This can come with strict rules, extreme attention, and neurotic parenting. The firstborn usually turns out to be a perfectionist, or authority-pleasers, who strive for their parents' approval or becomes mini-adults.
Traits include; being reliable, conscientious, structured, cautious, controlling, and achievers.
"They often have an intense fear of failure, so nothing they accomplish feels good enough. They're typically inflexible—they don't like change and are hesitant to step out of their comfort zone," says Michelle P. Maidenberg, Ph.D., a child and family therapist in White Plains, New York.
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Lastborn partner
- Go all out with the fun stuff. Spoil them.
- Give them attention throughout the day in form of flowers at work or wherever they may be.
- Lastborns are more open to surprises in front of strangers.
- Post them on your social media.
- Give them customised gifts. Go into detail about what you love about them or what they do. While firstborns tend to be driven to please, lastborns tend to feel like nothing they do is unique.
- Use words of affirmation to let them know how much they mean to you and that you recognise their abilities and contribution. Lastborns can harbour feelings of irrelevance in the shadow of their siblings, according to Leman. "None of their accomplishments seem original. Their siblings have already learned to talk, read, and ride a bike. So parents react with less spontaneous joy at their accomplishments and may even wonder, 'Why can't he catch on faster?'" he says.
- Show them how crazy you are about them. Lastborns tend to struggle with receiving attention so they can turn to manipulative ways to get it.
- In intimacy, you can indulge in role play which lets them show their wild and 'spoilt' side. They tend to be the least disciplined in the birth order.
Conclusion
Trust your gut when it comes to gifting or treating your partner. It could be from conversation or their routine and life that you get inspiration from. Ultimately, your relationship sets the grounds for giving them a special Valentine's Day.
