Why ignoring the first slap in a relationship could put your life at risk

The first slap may come as a shock, often leaving the woman confused, hurt, and scared. However, many women tend to dismiss this first instance of violence, hoping it was just a moment of anger that will never happen again.

But ignoring that first slap could be a dangerous mistake, as it often signals the beginning of a much worse pattern of abuse.

This article aims to educate women on why they should never overlook the first sign of physical abuse and how to recognise the early warnings of a toxic and potentially dangerous relationship.

A landscape image of a black man hitting a woman in a modern kitchen Pulse Live Kenya

Importance of recognising first sign of abuse in relationships

The first slap in a relationship is never just an isolated event. It is a clear sign that boundaries have been crossed, and physical violence has entered the relationship.

Many abusers begin with minor acts of violence before escalating to more severe abuse. This is why it is so important to take the first slap seriously.

It is often the first sign of a dangerous pattern of behaviour that could put the woman’s safety at risk.

When a partner hits you for the first time, it shows that they are capable of using violence to control or manipulate you. This should never be brushed aside, as it is a clear warning that things could get worse if the situation is not addressed.

A landscape image of a black man hitting a woman in a modern kitchen Pulse Live Kenya

Why do women stay after the first slap?

Many women stay in abusive relationships after the first instance of violence for various reasons.

Some believe that their partner was simply stressed or angry and that it won’t happen again. Others may feel trapped in the relationship, either emotionally or financially.

Some women might also fear judgement from society, friends, or family, or worry about the consequences of leaving, especially if they have children together.

In many cases, abusers will apologise profusely after the first slap, promising it will never happen again. This can make the woman feel conflicted, as she may want to believe her partner’s remorse.

However, studies show that once physical violence begins in a relationship, it is likely to continue unless serious steps are taken to stop it.

A landscape image of a black man hitting a woman in a modern kitchen Pulse Live Kenya

The cycle of abuse

Many women don’t realise that they may be caught in a cycle of abuse. This cycle usually follows a specific pattern:

Tension building: The abuser becomes increasingly angry or irritable, and the woman may feel like she is 'walking on eggshells' to avoid setting them off.
Incident of abuse: This is where the physical, emotional, or verbal abuse happens. In this case, the first slap may occur.
Reconciliation: After the abuse, the abuser may apologise, give gifts, or promise that it won’t happen again. The woman may be convinced to stay during this phase.
Calm: For a while, the relationship may seem peaceful and normal again, but the underlying issues are still there. Eventually, the cycle starts over, often with more severe incidents of violence.

Understanding this cycle is crucial because many women hold onto the reconciliation and calm phases, hoping that things will get better. Unfortunately, without intervention, the violence typically escalates.

What to do after the first slap

If you have experienced the first slap, it is important to take immediate action to protect yourself. Here are a few steps you can take:

Talk to someone you trust: Reach out to a trusted friend or family member and tell them about what happened. Keeping the abuse a secret can make it easier for the abuser to continue. Having someone else aware of your situation can help you feel supported.
Seek professional help: Contact a helpline or a domestic violence organisation. These services offer counselling and advice on how to deal with abusive situations. They can also provide information on shelters or legal options if needed.
Set boundaries: Make it clear to your partner that physical violence is unacceptable. If the abuse happens again, consider leaving the relationship. Remember, your safety should always be the top priority.
Make a safety plan: If you feel that leaving immediately isn’t an option, create a safety plan. Know where to go and who to call if the violence escalates. Keep important documents, money, and a phone in a safe place in case you need to leave quickly.

Conclusion

No woman deserves to be in a relationship where she is physically harmed. The first slap should never be ignored, as it is often the first sign of a much larger issue.

This content was generated by an AI model and verified by the author.

Dear woman, don’t ignore the first slap – It could get worse

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