Why personal choice is more important than what's normal

Normalcy is something that has been used to chastise or approve. It might have been told to you "Are you normal?" Or "It's okay, that is totally normal". It has become something to strive for as you can see in the below ways.

1. Body

Create a picture with me of what a typical attractive person would look like. An image popped into your head. It could be someone you would be interested in. Your dream body. While what we all envision could be different, did we venture into extremes?

Being of a larger body, and equally being too small is frowned upon. It's preferable, according to the set standards that we strike a balance. This could make perfectly beautiful people lack appreciation for their bodies. Beauty runs all through and up and down the scale. All that should matter is that we are healthy.

2. Dressing

You woke up in the morning. You have an event that you have to attend. You dress up for it. You look in the mirror and feel good about yourself and you appreciate the effort you put into it. You get to the event and you hear whispers of "a bit much" "seeking attention" and "overdressed". Just like that, your confidence is stolen.

The quality of your day significantly decreases. They said it with conviction too like there is indeed a wrong way to dress. The same will play out if they thought you were underdressed. You are pushed to strike a balance, "a between" rendering your perfectly fine sense of style wrong.

3. Relationships

Being in a relationship takes work. You have to have the intelligence and patience to navigate someone outside of yourself. It is possible to constantly hit a wall and have to reduce yourself to an agreeable standard to avoid conflict if you are in a relationship that does not make room for your individuality. Again, we find ourselves striving for between.

You try to minimise your ambition while trying not to lack any. You try to minimize your expenditure so your partner, who spends money on you, does not think it's gold-digging while still trying to acquire what you need. You try to not be too accommodating so they would not take advantage of you while also making them feel accommodated. Sigh. Exhausting.

4. Opportunities

When one finds an opportunity, for instance, an employment opportunity. They present themselves in a way that they would be perceived as a suitable candidate. Modest. Normal. Proper. Flexible. Motivated while being energetic, able to work well under pressure, with years of experience while not thinking they are better than anybody so they can get along well with their colleagues.

The picture has been drawn. How well can you mimic it and balance it?

5. Disposition

A few months ago someone said a joke and you laughed too loud. You still think about it and cringe. Remember last week, when you were talking to that guy and you told them about how your teeth used to grow outward and now you can't keep eye contact?

Even in the way we present ourselves, there's too much and too little on things that we have just about no control over.

You can not be too eager. You can not be too loud. You can not be too quiet. You can not be too kind. You just about can't be.

So really is normalcy achievable? More importantly, is it worth striving for?

#ContributorMsLaur