Following heartbreak, you may be plagued with doubts, questions, and hurt, among other emotions which can make you feel and act out of control. Finding the confidence to centre your decision-making and navigate the emotional reactions can make progress faster.
Try these tips.
1. Create a pre-routine.
Have a routine for when you are going to do something. This routine helps you feel calm and confident about whatever you're going to do. This routine should help you feel grounded, release tension and help you feel in control so that you can enjoy and be present for whatever you are to do.
2. Reflect on times you’ve felt most confident
Think about when you feel most confident, who you are with and what are doing when you feel most confident. Which activities do you notice feeling present and most like yourself? Perhaps it’s cooking, dancing, or telling a funny story. Find out what and do more of that.
CHECK OUT: Inspiration to do better than your ex
3. Create a list of your strengths and reasons someone else would be lucky to know you
If you feel stuck, consider the positive feedback you've received in the past and reflect on your strengths. Keep this list nearby for every time you need to be reminded why you are amazing and wholesome.
4. Visualize how you want to feel
Visualization has been emphasised for a long time as a helpful tool in achieving one’s goals. Research has shown that it can help with improving performance and confidence in sports. Visualizing how you want to feel may not guarantee the outcome, but it increases the likelihood that you will be more confident going forward.
CHECK OUT: Why you shouldn't feel self-conscious about your texting habits
5. Get feedback
If you feel like this experience could be a teaching one, consider asking for feedback about your situation or yourself. Sometimes we get stuck in heartbreak when asking could not only reveal our blindspots but also show us that the person who broke us isn't really worth being so broken up over.
It is also important to know areas of improvement.
6. Know your needs and attend to them
Give yourself the space to give yourself what you need. Through communication, self-care, and routine, you can establish a safe environment in which you feel safe and capable of moving forward in a healthy way.
7. Focus on what you want and like
Confidence can carry a certain level of selfishness. This includes selfishness with your time, resources, space, connections, etc. Rather than focusing on whether you are enough or likeable, focus on whether you like others and what they do for you. Separate the grain from the chaff. Accepting yourself and choosing what complements you and your life is a gateway to feeling better and in control.
CHECK OUT: ABC of getting relationship tattoos
8. Get support from friends or family
Rally your support groups for your confidence boost. Rather than let your heart bleed with them, ask them to be there for your confidence. Whether it's getting pep talks, or making you do more things, let them know you're building your confidence and how they may support you.
Final thoughts
Building confidence is essential to getting through heartbreak. It can help you make better choices and stay healthy even when the hurt lingers. Using the tips above can get you started on getting your groove back.