Finding love and sex are usually synonymous but often looking for sex is mistaken for looking for love. Even when you are clear about what you want, there can be problematic ways to go about it.
You can put your health in danger, encourage bad sexual behaviour, and damage your reputation and self-esteem.
Here are seven things you should avoid when it comes to getting laid.
1. Sleeping with your exes
That relationship ended for a good reason and sex wasn't enough to keep it alive. Maintaining sexual relations with exes is very convenient.
There's history and chemistry that make it easier to reconnect physically.
However, it can sabotage your efforts to move on and find healthy relationships.
2. Faking love
Creating an illusion of attraction and love to sleep with someone can cause irreparable damage to that person.
This kind of lifestyle to get sex can leave many people heartbroken, feeling betrayed, and bad about themselves.
Not to mention it can earn you a reputation and habits that can be difficult to undo.
3. Staying in toxic relationships
We have all heard at least one story where a couple stays together under the claim that the sex is so good.
The problem with this narrative is that the dynamics of toxic relationships can enhance feelings of sexual desire, and attraction at the cost of emotional, mental, and sometimes physical well-being.
A less than sustainable way to keep a sex life.
4. Paying for sex
This is not about sex workers and escorts, in which case two consenting adults agree on the exchange.
We are talking about monetary and other advances with the intention to get sex but the other person is unaware.
Going on dates, gifts, physical help and investing time should not be done with hidden intentions. The other person is not indebted to you for, what to them is essentially courting or dating.
This can lead to disappointment and resentment because the effort is disproportionate to the expected outcome.
However, if you are willing to invest all that to sleep with someone, how about simply being open with them or dating them?
5. Cheating
Cheating is often a choice over addressing problems in a relationship or personal issues.
To be honest, cheating feels better than having tough conversations that might hurt feelings and lead to bigger issues.
However, the risky and exciting sneaking around to have sex and ignore your problems hurts loved ones and leads to serious damage that communication would have prevented.
6. Hitting on close friends
Intimacy between friends can sometimes cross over to romantic attraction. This is harmless if it develops naturally and is reciprocated. What is harmful is making advances on close friends to sleep with them. This group also includes your friends' friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and friends' relatives.
If not received well, they can lead to ruined connections.
7. Begging
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But why do you let the situation get to that point? This tactic includes inappropriate behaviour like complaining about blue balls, sending explicit pictures, terrible flirting, and harassment, among others.
Takeaway
Know your sex values and meet them responsibly. A healthy sex life is not just the quality and quantity of sex you have. It is tied to your mental, emotional, and physical health, and those of others.