5 mistakes you make when you like someone out of your league

People can be out of our league, and vice versa, either physically, financially, mentally, or emotionally. Having this knowledge can cause us to stumble when shooting our shot and completely blow our chances.

The most common problem is idealising that person. If you put them on a pedestal without getting to them, you are going to make yourself very nervous. Instead of letting your personality and individuality show, you may try to act in accordance with who you think they are.

That is common and normal. And it usually fades when you get to know that person if you get to know them. It can also fade when you simply acknowledge your values and needs, and if they can match them.

But before that, here are some mistakes that ruin your chances with someone you consider to be out of your league.

Telling them they are out of your league

This is the equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot. Even if you think they are, don't tell a person that they are out of your league. It is not the way to give them a compliment. Statements like "I like you but you're too (insert praise word)" are in poor taste. They are judgmental at best and may show an inadequate personality or character at worst.

Assuming they have many options

If you assume they have many people looking to date them, then you should accept that. After accepting that, either quit or decide how to put your best foot forward. However, this assumption is not reality. Even if they have many a number of people trying to woo them, it doesn't mean that person wants any of them.

Operating under this assumption can lead you into making poor decisions and ruining your chances.

Liking them for the wrong reasons

There's nothing wrong with wanting someone who we perceive as top of the date chain. It is human and happens to most people. And as long as it is for the right reasons, it is healthy. The right reasons look like this; you know them well enough, you share similar values or beliefs, and you are confident in your feelings, needs, and desire to pursue them.

The wrong reasons look like this; you don't know them but like an imagined version of them, you want to show off, you want them to because of their super qualities, you place value on them, and you fix yourself for them.

When you're not showing up as your genuine self, you will get hurt and ruin your chances.

Wanting them to take the lead

Don't assume that person has to prove themselves to you simply because you like or want them. People we perceive as high-value tend to bring out our insecurities and this can make us push them away. If you pursue them, make sure it is genuine. If you start feeling like they should prove they like you or return your feelings by pursuing you in return, then you will ruin your chances and come off as fake or flaky.

Fronting material wealth

It can be your money, wealth, beauty, body, or achievements. Your wealth should not be used to attract anyone. You want someone to like you not your possessions. They may see through you or fall for your possessions when you hope they return your feelings.

This type of behaviour is also caused by the insecurity that comes with wanting someone outside your league, and it should be a red flag in you.