Whether you meet someone for the first time or have known them for a while, respect, and admiration are earned. When it comes to your spouse it is even more important to maintain your self-respect and boundaries for a healthy and fun relationship.
Having your spouse's respect and admiration is wonderful but it doesn't fall out of the "love sky". You don't have to fight for it but you shouldn't expect it either.
Here are some things that you shouldn't do for your girlfriend that will win her respect.
It has to do with how you treat yourself, knowing who you are, what you want, and where you are going.
Do/say something you don't want to
Don't be polite for the sake of your girlfriend when you would rather do or say something you feel and think is right. This doesn't mean you should embarrass her by getting wasted at a party because you feel like letting loose. It means using your judgement, good sense, and self-control to say something or do something when it is right no matter how uncomfortable it makes things. Stand up for yourself or her when you feel it's right.
Give up on your "silly" dreams
Make your silly dreams come true to the best of your ability. Those things that give you joy and don't harm you or sabotage your relationship are worth fighting for. It shows your passionate side, it shows that you care, and most importantly it makes you happy. When she sees this, it will be hard to doubt then and it will make you and her the better for it.
Pretend to know her
It is erroneous to pretend to know anyone but especially someone you want to get to know and spend time with. Drop assumptions and become curious, let her shine where you want to know her because she knows herself better than you. Generalisations and stereotypes will hurt your credibility and undermine you in the relationship when you inevitably turn out to be wrong.
Be a "man"
Distance yourself as much as you can from unhelpful ideas of who a man is and be yourself. Playing someone else's character hides who you are and just as you enjoy being that character, you are bound to be a villain. The manliest thing you can do for yourself and your relationship is to be fearlessly yourself and allow your partner the same space.
Appease her
If you don't want to do something, communicate your feelings and thoughts. Sometimes it is not what you say but how you say it. Avoid doing or saying things to appease her especially when there's a serious conflict or disagreement. Conflict is not bad in a relationship, and one partner shouldn't 'give in' for the other. If something is important or serious, fight about it and find common ground. Focus on repairing the connection rather than letting things slide.
Takeaway
Earning respect is not separate from who we are as individuals. It can be tricky in relationships as we juggle our love and differences but the two can co-exist in healthy relationships. Using our differences to share love and loving our differences is essential to maintain respect in relationships.