There are many uncomfortable ways that people express love, like the Hamar women who take brutal beatings to show loyalty and love. But doing uncomfortable things for those we love is often more emotional and mental than physical unlike in some cultures and traditions.
Getting through uncomfortable experiences can be an opportunity to deepen the bond and also boost personal wellness.
Here are some examples of uncomfortable ways that express love.
Honesty
Everyone wants honesty but it is one of the most uncomfortable things to do. Being honest with a partner is a great way to build trust and a partnership. It allows both partners to be on the same page and shows that you care about the relationship and the person enough to put selfishness aside.
Talking about your feelings
Relationships are safe spaces where we can be ourselves and allow each other room to grow. In order for that to happen, each person has to be willing to let their feelings, thoughts, behaviours be known to the other. This can include conversations about how your partner may have hurt you, and how you feel about each other's choices, conduct, decisions, and other individual matters. It can be daunting but it leads to healthy and thriving relationships and individuals.
Loving yourself
It's true that you cannot love or let yourself be loved if you don't love yourself. What does loving yourself look like? Setting boundaries, communicating your needs and taking care of your health, your finances, and social needs. Sometimes this can bring partners head to head, and it might mean dissolving the relationship. In any case, whatever is done from a place of love for oneself or another is a win-win. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt or is comfortable.
Support even when you disagree
A relationship doesn't dissolve personal differences. Sometimes you have to support your partner even when you disagree with them. Unless it is a strong difference in core values, some differences aren't bad, they might even be opportunities for growth or change. It can still be an unpleasant experience.
Going against the norm
Breaking the status quo doesn't mean breaking the law, hurting others, or putting yourself in danger for a loved one. And if any of those instances happen, you might want to reconsider your relationship or values. The motive or intentions behind going against the norm for a loved one in a healthy relationship stem from understanding and accepting each other's needs. This can mean going against gender norms, relationship norms, and individual norms. Even if it is done out of love, it can be uncomfortable.
Takeaway
Just because some experiences are uncomfortable doesn't mean they are bad. There is an adjustment period for change even with those we love. And even then, we may never be totally comfortable with certain things. But they get easier and with the right person, they are totally worth it.