Breakups are hard, and the last thing you want is to regret that decision. For the person initiating the breakup, regret can be in the form of wanting to take their now ex back, or being faced with an angry ex who messes up their life.
These situations can be avoided by getting the breakup right as much as possible.
Here are some tips for avoiding common pitfalls of breakups.
Don't cheat so the other person breaks up with you
When it is hard to talk about how unhappy and unfulfilled we are in a relationship, some people resort to having affairs or cheating. Although you may have checked out of the relationship, the other person might not know. Rather than letting them know that you no longer want to be with them through cheating, talk about it. It cannot be worse than the fallout after infidelity. Also, it is an as*hole move to make them do the breaking up for you.
Take a serious look at the relationship
Sometimes the heart doesn't have our best interest at heart. When you think with your heart, you are bound to make rush decisions and invite regret. Take a look at the relationship and evaluate it with your best interest at heart. If in the end breaking up is what is best for you and your partner, then you will have arrived at it with good judgement. If you find other solutions to your problems, it is better than breaking up in the heat of a moment.
Break up in person
Breaking up in person doesn't make it any easier, but it is better than doing it virtually. Doing it online can be isolating and cold leaving many things unsaid and feelings suppressed or repressed. In-person feels more humane, it gives each person a chance to say their peace with the feeling that you are in the break up together. Check out these tips on how to deal with someone calling when you expect a text message.
Handle it with respect
Once you have made the decision to break up, give the other person room to get up to speed with the new reality. Allow them to express their feelings and provide clarity where they need it. Their feelings and thoughts still matter even if you are cutting the chord. Give them as much closure as possible and part ways amicably.
Be ready for the backlash
Depending on the breakup and your partner, be ready to deal with the fallout. Take care of yourself and try to move on.
Breakup when you start to think about it
Address the issue of breaking up when you start to feel like you want to end the relationship. If you let it go on for a long time, your feelings will start affecting how you show up in the relationship. This may be confusing for the other person and also tempt you to do things that may make the eventual breakup worse.