Inter-apartment dating or dating in the neighbourhood is a tricky fit.
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But it is possible to pull off the proximity and dating with a few tips. A house broker, Karyn Filiatrault walks us through the steps to dating your neighbour.
The movies have given us a glimpse into the neighbour-dating trope but reality can be much worse or better. Although it sounds hilarious and even complicated, it is a situation you can totally find yourself in.
First and foremost, your house is your number one love. The place where you let go of your troubles or deal with them, where you relax, where you don't have to care what you look like, where only your opinion and comfort matter.
"While there are obvious advantages to dating someone who lives within such close proximity to your front door, a certain amount of risk is involved with them being so close to it too. Rub a relationship up against your home and you may find a serious lack of privacy or worse if you break up, eternal awkwardness," Filiatrault says.
For this reason, more stringent rules may apply to your dating life and home life if the relationship is to prosper and even end amicably.
Make sure the neighbour isn’t crazy
This proximity is likely to cause you problems if your date has issues with boundaries, is the jealous type, or is generally a drama person. Seriously.
"If you’re dating someone in your building, you don’t want them knocking on your door whenever they feel, stalking you much less, and putting some sort of ownership over you, " she says.
Slow down on everything
Dating your neighbour is not going to have the same speed as anyone outside of your living space. "Take everything very, very slowly. Move about 3 times slower than you would in a standard dating situation."
Keep the dates away
Resist the temptation of using this convenience to spend less on dates. Avoid getting comfortable in each other's homes too soon. Plan dates away from your homes. Although it’s convenient that you live close to each other, make the effort to keep your homes separate from each other.
Set some rules/boundaries
It might be challenging to maintain the autonomy you would usually have in a dating situation that is just beginning. If you do not have the same ideas about independence and personal space, you will get in trouble. Stay respectful and mindful of each other’s needs.
Clarify what might happen if it does not work out
Take into account whether your schedules are similar or opposite. How often do you run into each other by chance? What might happen if you stop dating and one of you is bringing someone else home regularly? How awkward could it get?
If you really like living in this place, you don’t want to have to move just because you took a chance on your neighbour. Are both of you mature enough to handle living there if things go south? Make sure you have a good understanding of these dynamics.