In her analysis of the hookup culture in "Hookup Culture: Tinder and the Loss of Intimacy", Alana Varley says, "Subconsciously, participants in the dating trend understand that sex should happen within the context of commitment; they often feel as though something is missing from their hookups."
In the same breath, family counsellor Doyle says, "I viewed the marriage bed as a way to experience pleasure, to feel good, and many times, to relieve stress…sex can do all of these things, but those ‘things’ are merely an ancillary result, not the objective or main purpose, for sexual intimacy. Using sex for pleasure, and only pleasure, easily spirals out of control. You could call it a kind of psychosexual obesity. The problem is that the focus is on the feelings of pleasure and not the person."
CHECK OUT: 8 signs he is deeply into you
Those feeling the biting effects of the hookup culture have back peddled. In this turn of events, it requires removing the spotlight on the "feelings of pleasure" and putting it back on "the person" which includes a return to some semblance of commitment and in the least, having empathy for a human being beyond oneself.
CHECK OUT: Signs people think mean he's in love when he isn't
This Tiktoker has come out and admonished this sexual culture for robbing her of the smallest action of being held.
"Nine times out of ten, you don't need no d—k. You just need to be held. But you motherf— don't know how to be intimate because all y'all want to do is f—. Every day's "Just throw that a— back. —hoke on it. Let me see you —hoke on it. Spit on it." Are you okay? Why do you not want to hold me and call me a princess and tell me I look pretty? Why don't you want to give me forehead kisses? How about I look into your eyes and tell you you feel good? How about that? No, that's too much. People don't even be cuddling up after s—x no more. It's just they get up and just go it's so sad. That's why motherf— got trust issues and s—."
Watch the video and comments here.
Comments iterating the same sentiments flooded her video.
Rita Ngcayechibi Zulu, "I want to be held, but by hiiiiimmmm."
BIG L 🦋, "Definitely need to be held😭"
Sharika Hines, "I definitely need to be held!!! I don’t need all that other mess 😩"
Elise Desiree, "I literally had this revelation the other day, I just need to be held."
Solotraveler, "I think if a man actually properly held me I’d just start crying…it’s been so long."
CHECK OUT: 8 important conversations to have before having s*x
Rethabile Sebeela, "Last week I got forehead kisses and cuddled to sleep from a guy I met the same night and it was so nice."
$𝐇𝐀𝐍♡, "Yeah I need to be held real bad."
Ntuthuko Ntini, "SOME of us are afraid of catching feelings.🤷🏿♂️"
READ HERE: 7 things you need to stop using to get s*x
Kaphizee, "I followed you bcos of this !! You are absolutely right."
mhizlaragold, "For reals🥺🥺"
YouOneDay OG, "That’s what real psychical touch is."