The lady took to her social media in a wrapper and her natural hair done in cornrows to narrate how she visited her husband's side chic without either of their knowledge. In a video seen on Twitter, she says that she found out where the woman works after she found her chat with her husband while looking through his phone.
She then visited the woman's place of work and apparently saw what her husband had seen in said woman. "The lady is fine!" she says adding that she could not fault her husband for wanting the woman.
Netizens came in the comment section in equal parts admonishing the woman's reaction to her husband cheating and pointing out her lack of self-esteem.
Does the person your partner cheats on you with matter?
Cheating is an emotional blow that nearly everyone is not prepared for. The betrayal from someone so close to us can bruise us so badly without a straightforward way of dealing with it. However, different people react to cheating differently. There's no manual on how to "best react" to it.
Among the things that happen in the aftermath is the question of what caused the cheater to stray. In the case of the woman mentioned above, it was seeking out the person her husband is cheating with.
Assuming the story is true because if she didn't want the husband to find out, he might know now that the video is circulating online.
Here are some lessons from the 'other person', whether you know them or imagine what they could be.
You are not the problem
The woman in the video went ahead to say that she is the problem and addressed the "problems" she is going to fix. Namely, her dress code around the house and her cooking.
The problem with this thinking is that the problem is a lack of communication from the man. Relationships are partnerships for emotional, mental, and physical well-being. One partner cannot be the problem, the problem arises out of not addressing concerns. Instead of finding someone who "looks better" it is the partner's duty to address his/her feelings about how the other looks or is doing.
"Leave those stories, the fact remains your husband is a cheater and a cheater will always cheat on you no matter how pretty you are," said one Adedeji Emmanuel.
The other person is not the problem
The person your partner is cheating with probably doesn't know about you. Even if they do, it is your partner who is encouraging them. The other person might be a victim too sometimes. Moreover, if it is not that person it will be someone else and for reasons you don't know.
"Your husband is a cheat, cheats have no limit, they’ll cheat on you when the prettiest girl and the ugliest girl, the one without shape and the one with shape…Just dey play, keep making excuses for cheating men," said Chy.
Address your insecurities
Cheating can bring up insecurities and bring self-worth into question. However, these are personal issues no matter who triggers them. Rather than attack the other person, process your feelings and find ways of healing yourself. There will be situations where you won't be able to do certain things and you need to know you will be loved regardless.
"So what happens when you grow old? What happens when you’re sick and unable to look pretty? It’s okay to look good, but there’s no excuse for a cheat. He will cheat on you with anything. Love yourself first," said Adetayo.