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Signs that you shouldn't fall in love because he's an Incel

This group of men feel totally excluded from the mating market and can often be found holding extreme views about how dating works, being sexist, trolling, and dangerous. Their reputation is further worsened and reinforced by mass shootings.
Signs your male casual hook-up is an incel/Pexels
Signs your male casual hook-up is an incel/Pexels

Incels, short for “involuntary celibates”, is a movement (mostly online) of men who forge a sense of identity around a perceived inability to form sexual or romantic relationships with women. They swing from obsession with women to violent hatred.

People are single for many reasons including choice, personal growth, casual sex over-commitment, and those waiting for the right person. But for Incels, singlehood feels like a choice society has made for them, whether they like it or not.

READ: 5 signs you should leave a date before it's over

This group of men feel totally excluded from the mating market and can often be found holding extreme views about how dating works, being sexist, trolling, and dangerous. 

Their reputation is further worsened and reinforced by mass shootings.

On a more personal level, research has found Incels to have much poorer mental health, a tendency towards victimhood, and increased interest in casual sex.

Incels were also likely to not be in education, employment, or training (NEET).

According to research from "Levels of Well-Being Among Men Who Are Incel (Involuntarily Celibate). Evolutionary Psychological Science", here's what to look out for.

1. Incels have worse self-reported mental health.

Incels scored high on depression, anxiety, loneliness, and satisfaction with life measures. These men can be highly plagued by poor mental health, but researchers aren't sure whether this is before they identify with the group or if the conditions are aggravated by affiliation with the movement.

2. Incels have a victim mentality

Compared to non-incel men, incels were more likely to see themselves as victims when completing measures of Interpersonal Victimhood. They were more likely to feel that others took advantage of them and didn’t empathize with them.

READ: Signs that someone is not safe for a relationship

They tend to get stuck on a sense of injustice and feel the drive to have it recognized, which can leave them hopeless and bitter.

3. Incels have a higher desire for casual sex

Women tend to show less interest in casual sex, according to research. Since casual sex is riskier for women (in terms of pregnancy, and STD-driven infertility, among others) the bar tends to be set higher for their casual sex partners.

This tough bar fosters frustration among Incels regarding their attitudes towards relationships and intimacy.

4. Incels tend to be young, socially inept, and live at home

Incels tend to be a few years younger than non-incels and were almost twice as likely to still be living with their parents, and not be in education, employment, or further training. Since education, employment, and independence are key ways people build status and become more competitive in the dating market, particularly men, a lack of these tools is a breeding ground for Incels.

READ: 5 signs you are not husband material and women should avoid you

Final thoughts

Incels typically have a higher drive for casual sex, coupled with low status, victimhood, and poor mental health, which can make them undesirable personalities. They tend to have extreme views, and bravado, and seek affiliation with others who feel the same way.

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