As women continue to challenge social norms around gender and push for empowerment, there is a divide among women.
There seems to be an assumption that all women should first shake off the "shackles" of traditional gender roles and then decide if they actually want to stay in these roles.
READ: It is okay to marry a powerful woman - Speaker Tayebwa
However, this is unrealistic at best and unethical at worst as individual choice and consent are disregarded.
So what should women consider before attacking fellow women who abide by traditional gender roles?
All change takes time
But most importantly, it takes a few people at a time or at all. Not all women feel the same way despite the "evidence of damage" from some traditions. Women who seek to upset tradition shouldn't feel "betrayed" by those who love and abide by tradition. There is also a sort of moral superiority when "traditional" women suffer at the hands of the gender roles that fellow women attack them with as if to say they deserve it for sticking to them.
READ: Tweep unleashes on women who can't afford transport money
Guilt, shame and fear
Many traditions have mental and emotional control over individual behaviour and experience. Trying to change some of these traditions, such as gender roles, can come with a lot of guilt and shame, even for women who want to upset the gender roles. This requires a lot of help to remove which very few women and people in general can access.
Choice
Some women genuinely love being traditional women even with the challenges that come with it. Refusing to accept this fact has nothing to do with the woman who loves being traditional, rather it has everything to do with you who wants her to "be different". And that is just hypocritical since "forced conformity" is what tradition is about.
Losing identity
Some women have formed their values and identities around gender roles. Changing this would mean an individual crisis trying to discover who they are without their values. While some women can and have done this, it doesn't mean every woman can and should do it. And most importantly, there is nothing wrong with having these values and identities tied to tradition.
READ: TikToker decries this generation's avoidance of intimacy
Learning independence
Women who attack women who love traditional gender roles tend not to have a replacement for these roles. Freedom, independence, doing whatever you want, equality, and chasing your dreams, are simply not enough most times to convince someone to leave their security and comfort. This kind of thinking ignores women who are independent even in traditional gender roles, those who do thrive!
READ: Gender wars are the least of your problems when looking for love in Uganda
Final thoughts
Some women love and thrive in traditional gender roles and they don't need saving. There are many factors that can make it hard for women to leave their roles but it is a personal decision and experience to change.